Banana time
by Turtle-chan in Blue
Summary: One man's ever so painful search for the perfect gift. And guess what he gets? IT'S BANANA TIME!


**I do not own Bleach. If I did then Eminem or Linkin Park would be the english dubs for Toushirou. **

**Entered for Rukilex's Valentines day contest. VOTE FOR ME! I DO WANT TO WIN! XD.**

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It had honest to god hit him like a snowball, or an uppercut, or a brick, or a piano down a mineshaft, or rather like the calendar Rukia had thrown in his face.

It was February 13. Valentine's Day was tomorrow.

How didn't he see the signs?!

The elusive gestures and displays of affection and the ever so horrible mood swings! And he checks his calendar every day!

Not to mention all the other couples in his life. His sister, Renji went and visited Tatsuki for a while, Orihime and Ishida, who usually had their 'cuddle time' one a month, had it every day, for a while, and even his other sister went to that shopping everyday although she never bought anything.

But there was also the true meaning of Valentine's Day. Chocolate, roses, jewelry, anything else, and one day left to get them.

…

And thus it began his quest to strike gold…

[10:38 a.m.]

In front of a shop in the mall. They had sold out chocolates two days ago. The last chocolate store he had just checked. Something told him that yelling in agony wouldn't help this time.

"Kurosaki-kun!" he knew that voice.

"Inoue!" and of course the ever so silent 'stalker' was behind her and her 'fan club' who were drooling at the sight of you-know-what. But that still didn't stop her from tackling him to the ground.

"Kurosaki-kun! What are you doing here?" it would have been more comfortable if it wasn't for the 'stalker's' eyes staring at them evilly.

"Looking for something for Rukia,"

She gasped "You still haven't found anything for Rukia-chan?! Oh! Buy her a Chappy Bunny Doll!" and she started to rave about the doll.

He just stared.

**Option 1: ****Be forever cursed with a doll that will sit in a corner of your room and it will stare into your soul with those beady eyes: when hell froze over.**

[11:06 a.m.]

In front of a flower shop; the last flower shop. They only had a pair of wilted yellow tulips. Everything sold out yesterday. At least the manager gave him a pat on his back.

"Strawberry?!" came the outrageous shout from behind him, and once again he was tackled, but from behind.

"Tatsuki! And Renji!" shouldn't they be cuddling?

"What are you doing out here Ichigo?"

"Looking for a gift for Rukia."

"Oh, get her the Chappy movie; I'm pretty sure she'll like it."

He just stared.

**Option 2: ****Be forced to watch the Chappy movie over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over again: When hedgehogs became flying Shinigami.**

[1:37 p.m.]

He stared along the path as he walked down the sidewalk. The last jewelry store just turned him away, because a) they sold out, and b) he was broke.

But he so just happened to stumble upon his sister, Karin, practicing by herself. He decided to go and see her and maybe to complain for a little while, we all need to complain.

"Ichi-nii?" oh crap, so much for the 'sneak up behind her' idea.

"I need a gift for Rukia," he suddenly noticed that brand new necklace that completely and utterly contrasted with the rest of her surroundings. He decided to keep his mouth shut. But that didn't stop him from silently plotting how to steal it at night.

"A bunny."

He just stared.

**Option 3:**** A pooping bunny: there's every right to say no.**

[2:46 p.m.]

He stood outside of Urahara Shōten, defeated. Even these guys, the shop that no one goes to, had no chocolate. Apparently Jinta, the kid with red hair had given them away to someone else.

Childhood crushes…

"Onii-chan?" wait a minute, he knew that voice, what was SHE doing here?

He turned around to face a flustered Yuzu, with none other than Jinta, who was almost as colorful as his hair.

But that wasn't his initial shock. No, the innocent, naïve sister that he was supposed to protect from bad stuff wasn't what he was thinking of. Rather he thought of how much Yuzu knew about the Soul Society.

It was pretty clear he's been hanging out with Shingamis for too long.

"Are you looking for a gift for Rukia-chan?" oh how he cringed at that nickname. Besides how did she know?

"It's your face Onii-chan," MIND READER!!

"Get her a Chappy shirt,"

He just stared.

**Option 3: ****WAIT A MINUTE! Wasn't his entire anime career spent with only one outfit and in all three movies? Do they ever wash their kimonos? **

"ONII-CHAN!" he snapped out of his stare-ness.

"I need you to go to the grocery market to get something." Oh well, there wasn't much hope anyways.

"Sure,"

[3:52 p.m.]

There it was… the absolute perfect gift. Well, it wasn't even close to perfect but he was sure about two things. A) Rukia will get either furious at him or B) she will start laughing. Oh yes, it will be perfect. (Insert creepy laughter)

[The day after 8: 45 a.m]

It was a late Sunday morning. It seemed that everyone was lazy to give, or receive. However Ichigo woke up two hours early and cleaned himself. Who ever said he was non-hygienic was telling big fat lies.

He grabbed his gift from the refrigerator without ever really noticing that there was no one in the house/clinic. He proceeded to go to that place where he found Rukia's reiatsu was the highest.

The school.

He found her on the roof with her favorite drink of all time; juice box.

"Rukia," she looked up with an air of anticipation, something he found intimidating.

"Look what I got!" he said in his 'silly' voice.

She looked at 'it' with awestruck eyes.

"Ichigo,"

"I LOVE BANANAS!!!!" she screamed while snatching them out of his hands and chewing on them with the peel on.

Wait what?

He turned to face her, but something hit his face. Something hard.

"Karin-Chan!"

"What?"

"Guys, I think he's unconscious,"

"Kurosaki-kun!"

What the heck just happened?

**_~FIN~_**

_

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__for Michelle who randomly came up with stuff as i went along. like this:_

_ICHIGO: I LOVE RUKIA  
RENJI: I ALSO LOVE RUKIA BUT I LOVE BANANAS MORE. LETS GO EAT! *LEAVES*_

_RUKIA: WAT ABOUT ME?!?!_

_O_O and..._

_HOLLOWS ATTACK_

_ICHIGO SAVES RUKIA_

_CAN'T GET HER OUT OF FAUX BODY_

_LOOK BANANA!!_

_T.T_

_she's weird. sorry for the OOC-ness._


End file.
